Dangles Says Touch Your Toes

Cute

2008-01-07T11:02:00.001-08:00

Halloween 2007 - Pumpkin Portraits

2007-11-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends,

I finally found something to post other than LOL Cats!

Abe and I had a great Halloween. We didn’t carve* pumpkins (or pump-a-kins as Abe calls them) but we did get our portraits drawn onto pumpkins. That was pretty cool. Ash did the drawings and we autographed them. They are available for auction if anyone wants to bid on them.

*Abe isn’t allowed to use a knife anymore – long story, if anyone is interested I might write a post about it.

Here are some pictures:

More LOL Cats

2007-10-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Dear loyal readers,

I am sorry that I haven't posted much recently. I just don't have a lot to say. I do realize that mostly I just post the funniest pics that I find on I can has cheezburger. Here is another one of my favorites.

Weekly Cheezburger

2007-10-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

This little guy is so cute!

LOL Cat!

2007-09-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

From I can has Cheezburger:

We have made contact with the mother ship!

2007-09-19T10:07:00.001-07:00

Check it out folks! Creature Co-op is back! Abe and Larry are so happy. It looks like they haven't completely finished the site, but it's on it's way.

Honeymoon

2007-09-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

Esmeralda and I had a great time on our honeymoon. Mostly we just relaxed. Here are a few pictures:

Beach week

2007-08-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hey friends,

As most of you know Esmeralda and I got married in May. We never got a chance to go on a honeymoon so next week we are going to the beach!

I'll post some pictures when we get back.

--Dangles

Creature Co-op update

2007-08-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

As some of you know Abe and Larry are from Creature Co-op. Earlier this year the Creature Co-op site was removed and had a message that they were on vacation. We were all very nervous that something had happened to them and that we would never be able to reach any of Abe or Larry's friends and family again. The message on their home page has been updated recently so we think that soon they will be back online.

Until then I would like to leave you with this Creature Co-op Dance Party video. And no, Ash didn't have anything to do with the making of this masterpiece.

Creature Co-Op Dance Party from CreatureCoOp and Vimeo.

More silly stuff from "I can has cheezburger?"

2007-08-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

I would like to dedicate this photo to my friend Bladio.

I can has cheezburger? Funny

2007-08-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

Ash showed me this site I can has cheezburger. The uglies, Abe and I like to check it everyday to see what the silly cats are up to. This one is really funny!

Funny from Dear Prudence

2007-07-12T12:53:00.000-07:00

The critters and I were surfing the web today when we came across this Dear Prudence letter and response. Pretty funny stuff!
------------------------------------
Dear Prudie,
My daughter is 5 years old and has, like most girls her age, a hamper's worth of stuffed animals. While she has her favorites, she constantly wants more and usually connives to get someone (read: her grandparents) into procuring a new one every couple of weeks. The new one immediately becomes her favorite and she must sleep with it every night and haul it around half the day. My question is: Does this behavior indicate she'll be overly promiscuous as an adult, or at least unable to commit to a single partner?
—Perhaps Overly Worried Father

Dear Perhaps,
Of course that's what it indicates. You'd better start thinking now about what you're going to do when she's a young woman and throws over that big, chubby guy with the annoying laugh, Barney, for the sexually ambiguous Tinky-Winky, whom she then dumps for that moron, Elmo, who every time they come over asks you to get down on the floor and tickle him.
------------------------------------
Source

Meme 1: Life in the Amazon

2007-06-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

Bladio asked me to write 3 fantasy stories about myself.

(Our backyard)

My name is Dangles, I live in the Amazon with my wife Esmeralda and our 37 beautiful monkey babies. We recently finished renovations on our 6 story tree house. We had to add a new wing since we have so many kids. I am originally from Bartell Drugs in Bellevue, Washington. Esmeralda is from the Amazon so she is happy to be home.

Esmeralda and I own the largest banana plantation in the world. All of our friends live with us. Abe used to be our chef but he would only make snow cones and we got sick of that. Now Abe is the plantation manager. We are not really sure what he does all day but we like having him and his wife Uno and their baby Onueba around. The ugly army harvests the bananas and our friend Larry is the shipping manager. Domo Kun works security. After we “promoted” Abe to plantation manager we hired a Capuchin as our head chef. Capuchins are the best chefs in the monkey world and we have similar tastes. We feast on delicious banana dishes every day.

We spend most of our time teaching our little ones the ropes. Throwing poo, picking bugs off each other and scratching armpits.

Tidbits of wisdom from Martha Talks Back

2007-06-05T14:40:00.000-07:00

When Ash and DK are at work the Ugly Army and I like to educate ourselves by reading interesting articles. One of our favorite columns is Martha Talks Back. Most of the time I make Abe read out loud because he is still learning to spell and read and I want to help him with that. (Ok, the real reason I make him do it is because it’s funny.)

Here is an excerpt of what we read about today:
“People with severe nose-picking problems are called rhinotillexomaniacs. In extreme cases, the cure for this is to sew their nostrils shut.”

Source: Martha Talks Back: Can you die from picking your nose?

Eloped

2007-05-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

Well friends, last night Esmeralda and I eloped. The wedding planning was taking its toll on my bean count so we decided to just jump right in and get married! Abe performed the ceremony.

My bean transplant

2007-04-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted much to my weurnal. I am getting ready for my bean transplant. You see, my stuffing and beans have settled and I am kind of flat and floppy so I am going to have more beans added. If you want to send cards or flowers you can have them delivered to Ash & DK's house. Wish me luck.

My Weurnal

2007-04-03T14:56:00.000-07:00

I am no longer going to use the word "blog". It's played out! That, right there, was the last time ever. From now on I will use the word Weurnal (Wee-ur-nal). That is a combination of "Web" and "Journal". You heard it here first folks. I have invented a new word and it is going to sweep across the internet like a wild fire in a rich California neighborhood!

Banana News

2007-03-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

Chiquita Concedes Colombia Protection Payments

Morning Edition, March 15, 2007 · Chiquita Brands International will plead guilty to doing business with gunmen in Colombia. Prosecutors said the banana company made $1.7 million in "protection payments" to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia, a right-wing paramilitary group linked to some of Colombia's worst massacres. The company will pay $25 million to settle the charges.

Source

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I hope this doesn't cause a banana shortage! That could really mess up our wedding menu!

My sweet Esmeralda & wedding planning

2007-03-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

As Blade pointed out I forgot to tell you all that Esmeralda is here. Esmeralda is wonderful! She is the most beautiful lady monkey in the world. And if there are monkey aliens then she is the most beautiful lady monkey in the universe. She is really nice to me and loves me a lot. She has an accent and she calls me “Dango” but she tries. I can’t quite figure out where she is from. Sometime she sounds like she is from Germany or Austria and then sometimes I think maybe she’s from Thailand. Wherever she is from – thank you for sending her! She is a little bigger than me and she is nice and plump! I have thinned out over the years and need a bean transplant.

I gave her an engagement ring and she accepted. We are working really hard to plan our wedding. It’s not going to be a shotgun wedding like Abe & Uno’s! We are going to have a nice dinner and lots of dessert! We are still working on the menu but here is the first draft.

Appetizers:
Friend plantain and banana chips with banana cream dipping sauce
Banana bread with banana butter

Salad:
Fruit salad with mostly bananas
Jell-O with bananas in it

Dinner:
Banana ravioli
Salmon with banana chutney
Beef with a banana reduction
Banana stuffed chicken

Dessert:
Bananas foster
Chocolate dipped bananas
Banana cream pie
Banana wedding cake

Drinks:
Bahama banana breeze
Banana bonkers
Banana coconut martinis
Banana daquari

Esmeralda and I will both wear yellow for the occasion.

i'm making a difference

2007-03-01T13:04:00.001-08:00

Hey loyal readers. This is an awesome program and I encourage everyone to join. It doesn't cost you a dime but it will help some great organizations! Check out the info and link below! --Dangles

i'm is a new initiative from Windows Live (TM) Messenger. Every time you start a conversation using i'm, Microsoft shares a portion of the program's advertising revenue with some of the world's most effective organizations dedicated to social causes. While there is no set cap on the amount each cause can receive, Microsoft will make a minimum $100,000 guaranteed donation to each of the nine organizations during the first year of the program. The more i'm (TM) conversations that happen, the more donations that happen. The sky's the limit.

So any time you have an i'm conversation using Windows Live Messenger, you help address the issues you feel most passionate about, including poverty, child protection, disease, and environmental degradation. All you have to do is join and start an instant messaging conversation. Microsoft handles the donation.

Visit http://im.live.com to join and get more information.

Wiihab

2007-02-26T10:50:00.000-08:00

Hi folks - Dangles here. Sorry for my long absence from my blog. I have been really busy babysitting Onueba, Abe and Uno's baby. Also, Esmeralda and I are planning our wedding! More on that soon.

I am kind of sad. One of the humans, DK got this little white box called a Wii. He stays up until 4:00 am flailing his arms around in front of the TV. The other day I heard Ash tell him that she was going to send him to Wiihab. When Ash is at work I read her Us Weekly. Wiihab is where bad celebrities who don't wear underwear like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears go. I am really going to miss him.

Abe & Uno have a baby girl named Onueba!

2007-02-08T15:49:00.000-08:00

Abe & Uno

2007-01-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

My friend Abe is a movie star!

2007-01-18T10:27:00.001-08:00

Check it out here!

Christmas & Our New Buddy

2007-01-17T12:23:00.000-08:00

Abe and I had such a great Christmas! We opened presents - I got a banana and Abe got a bag of ice cubes and we both got collars with our names on them - just like the cats! Abe was kind of mad that he didn't get a snow cone machine but he was quickly distracted by the ice cubes. We spent most of the day sticking bows on each other and getting to know our new friend Larry. Here is a picture:

Esmeralda - my mail order bride

2007-01-15T12:39:00.000-08:00

Since Abe met, impregnated and got engaged to Uno I have been a little lonely. (And yes, it happened in that order!) So DK found a lady monkey for me on the internet. She is beautiful - she looks just like me only pink! We ordered her so that she can come live with us and be my wife. My mail order bride.

Her name is Esmeralda which is Spanish for emerald. She hasn't arrived yet because of the long journey from the Amazon but she should be here any day now and I am so excited to meet her. I hope she is nice to me.

Did you know that you could order things from the Amazon through amazon.com?

My Yeti and I: The Willie Nelson Adventure

2006-12-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends! Sorry for the long delay in posting on my blog. I have been really busy with the holidays and everything. I also made a short trip to the Amazon to visit some of my relatives. But I am back now and ready to dedicate more time to my blog!

My Yeti Abe and I are big Willie Nelson fans. We are going to try to sneak onto his European tour. What do you think? I think we will blend in perfectly. Probably no one will even notice that we aren't humans. Now we just need to swipe one of the human's credit cards so we can charge the tickets and be on our way.

My Yeti and I: The Biggest Sports Fans Ever!

2006-11-09T11:46:00.000-08:00

My Yeti Abe and I are huge sports fans. We like to get dressed up and watch football with DK. Abe has a Seahawks hat, pom-poms and beads. I have a Red Sox hat that I use as a sleeping bag and I put on my war gear, the toilet paper headband and arm bands.

Did you know that I own a NFL football team? Yes, it's true - the Cincinnati Dangles! I have to work on the name though because everyone misspells and mispronounces it. I am going to write a letter to the NFL about that. And who picked out their uniforms? I am going to fire and throw poop at whoever did that - why would they put tiger stripes on them? They should have bananas on them! I'll post my letter to the NFL when I get around to writing it.

My Yeti and I: The Banana Adventure

2006-10-30T10:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes my Yeti Abe and I sneak around when the humans are out. The cats see us but they can't tell on us because the humans can't understand them. Sometimes we go over to our friend Monk's house. He lives with Bladio and Pete. Sometimes we just sneak around our house and lick all of the dishes in the cupboard or get into food. Recently we found BANANAS on the counter. I wrote on one and then my Yeti wrote a bad word on one. He is always writing bad words on things. Here is a photo of our adventure.

Read up husbands!

2006-10-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight."

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

My adoption

2006-10-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

Hey friends - it's Dangles here. I finally got that Yeti off my blog - I had to put some valium in his snow cone, but hey, whatever works right? He he heeeeeeeee!

Did you know that I am actually DK's monkey, not Ash's? Years ago Ash was at the drug store getting a card for DK. At the checkout counter she saw me sitting there staring out at her from a pile of other critters. She grabbed me and paid for me and the card and took me home. Then she tied me on top of the present for DK and I sat there for like a month waiting for the gift giving occasion to arrive. Over the next few months Ash got really attached to me and kind of took me over. That's what I call my adoption.

Snow Cones

2006-09-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

wHat uP bItCheS? aBe tHE yeTi hERe, mAkINg A guEst apPeaRAnCe oN mY moNKey dAngLe's bLOg!

i hAve A bIG pRobLEm. fiRst oFf mY huMan aSh pUt mE iN tHe waSHer bEcaUse mY snOw wHiTe YeTi fUr waS geTtiNg A lItTle dIrTy. tHe waSheR waS oK bUt thEn sHe pUt mE iN thE dRyeR! shE sAid tHat sHe hAd pUt A maGIc pRotEctiVe coATing oN mE sO i woUldN't meLt sINce i liKe aLl yETi's aM mADe oF snOw. i gUEss hEr mAGic coAtiNg doESn't wORk sO weLl bEcaUse mY beAutIFul fUr goT aLl SInGeD aNd maTTed aNd nOw i lOOk lIke a LAMB!!! hOw aM i sUpPoSEd tO scAre peOPle wHen i lOOk liKe a laMb??? (sEE bEForE aNd afTer phOtOs beLOw.) aS yoU cAn iMaGiNe thIs wAs a teRRiblY trAumAtic eXperIEnce.

bEfoRE:

aFtER:

i wOuld lIkE tO sTarT a sNOw cOne bIsineSS aNd uSe tHe moNey tO tRy tO gEt a fUr trAnsPLant. doEs aNyoNe haVe aN eXTra snOw cOne mAchiNe lYing arOUnd thAt thEy dOn't wAnT??? aND mAybE aN eXtRa trUcK tO tOw iT wITh?

HELP A YETI OUT!!!

YerrRRRrrrr WaaaaaAAAAaaaa YeeEEEeerrrRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr!
-- aBe tHe yETi

Did you know?

2006-09-14T11:50:00.000-07:00

Banana is the common name used for herbaceous plants in the genus Musa, which because of their size and structure, are often mistaken for trees. Bananas are cultivated for their fruit (techincally berries, since the plant is a herb) which bear the same name, and to a lesser extent as ornamental plants.

From Wikipedia.

Ears

2006-09-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Don't hate me because I have big sexy ears.

Hello Folks

2006-09-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Dangles Says Touch Your Toes. As some of you know I am a monkey and on my blog I will provide you with valuable knowledge and general tips on life. :)